Netanyahu's Private Meeting with the President

President Obama: "It was most rude and insulting of you to announce more settlement expansion during Vice President Biden's visit."

Prime Minister Netanyahu: "Sorry! Now about Iran..."

Obama: "But if you would make peace with the Palestinians, and thus the entire Arab/Muslim world, Iran would no longer be a concern!"

Netanyahu: "Peace would mean giving up land the Bible says is ours. Now about Iran..."

Obama: "But international law and UN Security Council resolutions say you must withdraw from the occupied territories, including occupied Arab East Jerusalem."

Netanayahu: "The Bible says we are God's chosen people and thus above the law. Now about Iran, if you don't strike, we will."

Obama: "For one thing, Iran is not close to having a bomb. For another, Americans are aware that Israel Lobby neocons lied them into a costly unnecessary war with Iraq, and Americans do not want a war with Iran, also on behalf of Israel."

Netanyahu: "No problem. We control your media so we can sell this war just as easily as we sold the last one. Your Congress is also bought and paid for. Our Speaker "Madame" easily gets the other harlots to pass any bill the Israel Lobby writes up."

Obama: "But opinion is changing. Your civilian massacres in Gaza resulted in bad publicity. And it's becoming clear that your endless persecution of the Palestinians is what inspires anti-American terrorism, as on 9/11."

Netanyahu: "Again, we are a very religious people. Our God instructs us to commit religious genocide: 'Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.' Samuel I 15:3."

Obama: "57 countries in the world do not recognize Israel because of your illegal occupations and persecutions. Already you've gotten us fighting in five of them, Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen, and Somalia, in one way or another, and that's enough. We're going bankrupt. Our US Treasury bonds are in danger of losing their triple-A rating. And if you strike Iran, there will be retaliation against our many troops in the area, dragging us into another war. Iran will surely block oil shipping in the Persian Gulf, driving up oil prices sky-high, the last thing our economy needs."

Netanyahu: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."